LETTERS

 

 Fine Words from Ferrata

We here at Science andTechnology make it a point to read every piece of international literature we can gain access to. Therefore, of course we have read Vex Magazine. However, we found it to be somewhat...two dimensional... in scope.

Rector d'ilm Ernst Limvlad,                                                        SciTech, Ferrata

San Patricians Not Amused, Wax Wroth

Dear Jerk,

"Little San Patricio," huh? "Small country on the fringes of Vex's great-power politics," eh? Well, you know what you can do with those little words, don't you? Or
would you like me and some of the guys here to pay a lttle visit? If San P is so "little," Mr.Jerk, how come we've been getting so much awesome new territory? Too bad the secuirty people won't let me say more. What, you guys down there in Atlanta, or whatever you call it, you think
you're cool or something? You're not!

Rafael ("You Can Call Me Al") Alfonso McGrath,
Puerto Bravo. S.P.

 

Dear Sir:

   It is with great pleasure that I salute you and Altlandic journalism on the accomplishment that is"Vex." Your magazine already achieves a combination of the serious and the sprightly that eludes any other publication on the planet.       Congratulations!                

We would be most gratified if Your Excellencies and your readers could
overlook the overabundance of patriotic zeal which impelled some of our
less educated citizens here in Puerto Bravo to cast stones and large objects at the windows of the Altlandic Embassy. Our simple people do not have the requisite cosmopolitanism to understand that His Majesty's
Altlandic Government is in no way responsible for some of the unfortunate language used to describe the size of our republic in the pages of the magazine. [Cf. VEX graph of comparative sizes of nations, p. 5, this issue) You and I, dear sir, are well aware that the words "little" and "small" may be employed in a joshing, bantering style
not calculated to give offense. Alas, not all Patricianos are so
world-wise, and their most regrettable vollies (which, thankfully, were rather far off the mark owing to the chronic abuse of spirits among the
lower elements of our populace) are a cause of no small distress at the Palace of The Da.                                  The Da himself, you will be pleased to learn, is in the most excellent of health and enjoys calling his guests' attention to your magazine's
amusing calculation that

 Himself has passed the age of 140!
      "One-four-oh, eh? Ha, ha! Ha, ha!," he says in his characteristically buoyant mumble.

Yours most faithfully, Lic.Conn Jaime Nugent O'Donnell,
Secretary to The Da,
E. U. de San Patricio

Warnings Reiterated

Very Honored and Dear Mister Chiefredactor:

I find your not very good journal in Mülleimer, see ugly faces of those two stupid guys in their hats that look like pasture pies. You try make them look good, me seem like some kind of nut. But I tell truth: all Phenixians are the baddest sort of swindlers: want money, leave you stuck with shoddy goods, lousy service. You fall for their line like bowling pins in a row. Some jounralists! I would tell you "cancel my subscription," but I too shrewd to have one in the first place. Can always find rag in main railroad station Mülleimer if interested in gullible reporters' nitwit news.

                      Albert Altbauer     Nussfeld (Champs de Noix)                    Melasse, Phenixia

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