By Buster Humplman

WILL THE PLANET SIMPLY SHRIVEL up like an autumn leaf and blow away? Will the nations of the planet die from lack of the old excitement? Or will Vexillian creativity and drive save the day? Such were the questions posed last week by the governing powers of the planet, led by those of the northern Melanian nation of Brolecia.          "Who here is wondering what will become of Vexillium when all the territory
has dried up? Will we start a new planet, and keep Vex in our memories? ...   Who thinks that after our experience ... we'd be able to make a bigger and better planet. ... Will we start a new planet, and keep Vex in our memories?" Such was the challenge thrown out to the Vex community of nations by the voice from Brolecia.                                        Voices raised in reply were not long in making themselves heard. The first to weigh in, from the emerging Kingdom of Lanarch, suggested that even "when all the territory has dried up," as the Brolecian put it, international relations would still be absorbing enough to prevent serious consideration of mass suicide or emigration to another planet.                        Other reactions soon followed. An opinion from the sprawling Westrian realm was full of optimism and enthusiasm: "...with less emphasis on territory, I think the planet has a real chance to become more creative... there is an unlimited number of aspects of [each] country, no matter how small, that can be creatively developed - from license plates to soccer leagues, to flags, and a million other things... A creative mind will never run out of things to do on Vexillium, even in 20 years."          Still other reactions were dismissive of the notion that the planet's possibilities would soon be exhausted. An influential source in the United Kingdom of Caboteniasa was adamant: "Dried up? I don't quite understand what you mean... but I don't think Vexillium is likely to dry up within [the] foreseeable future."                                                                       Many opinions echoed this sober realism, though with different emphases. The man from the colorful and bibulous Hetmanate of Hochlandia, a place not particularly famous for sobriety generally, even while noting the Vex's jollity, issued a caveat that reflects years of experience in dealing with bureaucracies: "It is not a bad idea but it will take a lot of joint effort, a thing not always available in institutionalized places, let alone in such a jolly place as Vexillum." [Text slightly edited for publication.]          Not all responses were quite so inclined to reject so completely the notion of eventually abandoning the Vex. As a writer from Lamb's Cove put it: "... if we were to start again, I would do some things differently ... maybe come up with a slightly different nation."

Yet, in the end, this person was not quite willing to give up on the poor old Vex. He continued: "It's better, I believe, to add to the work we've done than to try and re-create it. ... We have imperfect nations on an imperfect planet, but isn't that the heart of realism?" Indeed.                                                                 The spokesman of the TDCorp, which in currently expanding its operations into the formerly closed nation Wwww, while noting the recent collapse of several governments in large countries, saw no need for so radical a development as the end of the planet: "... there should be enough new land to go around..." But this sanguine estimate was followed by another statement more sanguinary: "Besides, there is always another way to acquire new territory ... WAR!!" This notion may have been prompted by the fact that the corporation may soon be involved in a war, one which many observers believe it stands to win.       Some of those who suggest that the Vex may be running out of steam assume that its only possible future lies in the continued splintering of large nations into smaller ones, and that this would be a purely negative development. But from what is left of the once great empire of Liliana, which the writer pointed out was still a land of considerable size, came a ringing endorsement of smallness: I have no problem [being in] a small nation; it's kind of cool, in some ways."         Theoretical discussion of the future of the planet Vex had faded by mid-week, however, before the very real problems which the planet now faces, including the growing conflict in southeast Melania triggered by recent developments within the mysterious Kingdom of Wwww, not the least mysterious of whose characteristics remains the proper pronunciation of its name.                                      Attention is now riveted on the implications for the whole Vex of UPRMI's insistence that the recent declarations of the heir to the throne of Wwww, Prince Felipe, do not represent the will, or at least the best interests, of its people and on the equally vigorous declarations on the part of Westria that they do. With the rest of the Vex waiting breathless for the outcome of this conflict, the prospect that the planet will become so boring that it would have to be abandoned certainly seemed less likely.                                             But the last word surely belongs to the Neolilianian, who said: "Vexillium, imperfections and all, is home." With this sentiment the vast majority of this planet's population, often more sensibly conservative than their governments, would surely agree.

        -- with reporting by Polyphème Unoeil in Phenixia and Molly Fisher in Port Marie

ALL DRESSED UP, NOWHERE TO GO

    Inside the thick-walled structure, at least it is cool. That is perhaps the only consolation which Mounir II, former Emperor of the east-central Melanian country once known as Africablue, can derive from the restrictive circumstances of his present involuntary sojourn at Fort Morne, just outside the his old capital city of Sedhiou, now renamed Medhinou.       The Altlandic authorities who established a protectorate over his underdeveloped nation after it had suffered an extended period of anarchy will not permit him to wander too far from his closely guarded quarters, and every- where he goes, even within the imediate vicinity of the fort, he must be accompanied by four burly, uniformed members of the Guards Regiment of Fusiliers, who are both his body guards and his gaolers. Of course, everything possible is being done by the new government of the Protectorate of Afrazure to preserve the illusion that Mounir is their guest and not their captive. He is still addressed as "Your Imperial Majesty," and the guards have strict instructions

Ex-Emperor Mounir last year in his favorite get-up.

to provide him with all he fancies and to treat him with the utmost deference. But one thing is nonetheless clear: he will not be permitted to leave the Fort and its immediate environs at any time in the near future.               Meanwhile, in the center of Medhinou, Guards officers specially trained in forensic investigation are poring over records, assembling heaps of documents, and taking oral testimony of alleged victims, particularly crucial in this land of nearly universal illiteracy. The picture which is emerging for them from all of all these sources is far from a pretty one.                                       Friends of the Emperor, if not Mounir himself, acting under the pretense of a totally free market, derived vast profits from commercial transactions of all kinds, legal and illegal. This profiteering was made possible by a government so corrupt that one could not even by a postage stamp without first